The Void: B

I continue to watch, Dear Reader. Tortured, yes, but I continue to watch. Continue… but to what madness?! 

In yet another chapter of my hellish and accursed eternal watching, I venture forth into the enigmatic realm of “The Void,” a satisfactory gorefest that, while often pleasing to the eye that hungers for carnage, fails to reach the lofty heights of a John Carpenter masterpiece, yet may resonate deeply within the troubled souls of those who share an affinity for his delicious artistry. It is a film seemingly crafted by devotees of the great Carpenter, tailored specifically for individuals who find solace in the dark corridors of his gooey cinematic universe… an individual such as myself, Dear Reader!

“The Void” revolves around a rather pretentious protagonist, a veritable “jagoff” one cruder than I might proclaim, who becomes a conduit for the destructive life-force of a quite unpleasant interdimensional entity. With this malevolent power, he unleashes terror upon a group of predictably expendable characters confined within the walls of a desolate hospital – much like the hospital, Dear Reader, where your humble Keeper has spent many a night enduring court-ordered supervised “rest” whilst taking in draughts of the most abominable sedatives and tinctures intended to dampen and smother the creative (albeit occasionally destructive) fires within! 

A delightfully murderous cult ensnares these ill-fated characters within the very heart of the doomed hospital, transforming it into a sinister playground where treachery runs rampant and various fluids – many not of this world! – flow freely. Their perilous task becomes one of identifying the hidden ally who conspires with the Lovecraftian entity, causing unsuspecting victims to erupt into hilarious fountains of gore and bone. These demonic eruptions, splendid in their grotesque beauty, rely minimally on the cold embrace of computer-generated trickery and instead lean deeply into the practical effects that speak to the creative (albeit occasionally destructive) fires within! 

Yes, the afflicted morph into distorted monstrosities, reminiscent of the infamous dogs from Carpenter’s “The Thing,” mere pawns under the control of a malevolent force, mercilessly slaughtering anyone within their grasp. An exquisite joy to behold, Dear Reader! Throughout the narrative that springs from this Hell-in-a-Hospital fable, one finds echoes of isolation and paranoia reminiscent of the gems all thinking men adore— “The Thing,” “Prince of Darkness,” and “Assault on Precinct 13.”

As the remaining characters, not yet transformed into human-volcanos of slush and ooze, delve deeper into the labyrinthine corridors of the hospital, an unsettling realization takes hold: The once-familiar structure reveals a disturbing truth—it expands, sprouting secret passages, tunnels, and an eerie fog. Could this be yet another Carpenter reference, Dear Reader, woven into the very fabric of this film? Armed with makeshift weapons, scarce medical supplies, and not nearly enough alcohol, they embark on a perilous investigation, unearthing a maleficent conspiracy involving a Cthulhu-esque demonic force yearning to open a portal and transform the unsuspecting populace into combustible beings of grotesque annihilation.

Have I said too much, or not enough, Dear Reader? I implore you to give in to your darkest impulses and consider “The Void.” Heed the blood-black call of curiosity, and pray that otherworldly tendrils of Purgatorial VHS doom do not slither around your consciousness and drag you closer to this Crypt in which I watch!