REVIEW: Sharknado (2013)

sharknado

Sharknado: C-

A CGI tornado full of CGI sharks hits LA in this perfect storm of B-movie shittiness.

Sharknado basically exists for you and your friends to converge in the living room, turn down the lights, and tear this movie a new asshole a la Mystery Science Theater 3000. It achieves this goal with a calculated, precise balance missing from most other movies designed to be fucking dumb.

One of the guys from 90210, Tara Reid, and the dad from Home Alone are trying to flee LA and the hungry Sharknado. The plot holes are astronomical, the CGI is cheap, and the acting is wretched, ON PURPOSE.

Numerous times, I caught myself marveling at the fact that this movie was allowed to exist. Like someone at SyFy said “Hey, how about we make a movie about a tornado filled with sharks and a blonde with huge breasts who launches missiles at the tornado filled with sharks and we make it so fucking bad ON PURPOSE that its intentional shittiness makes it all ok. And we’ll call it Sharknado.” And then they made the movie exactly like that.

A cocktail waitress operates a helicopter and the dad from Home Alone beats a CGI shark with a bar stool.

I couldn’t tell if it’s semi-ballsy genius or just another B-movie off the conveyor belt that, through some fluke, achieved some sort of flawless creature-feature awesomeness and inflated cult status. I fell for it though. In my opinion, Sharknado is the product of the realization that there are a lot of people who like to cleverly bash shitty movies and that these same people would enjoy a movie made for this purpose alone. The movie is meant to be mocked and SyFy did a great job of doing what they were trying to do.

In conclusion: this movie is fucking dumb.

3 thoughts on “REVIEW: Sharknado (2013)

  1. After seeing Twitter explode about how much dumb fun this flick was, I tried to take it on. Couldn’t finish it. Should’ve watched with friends while drunk rather than alone while drunk.

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