Hostel, Part 3: D-

Strap yourself in for the same elements of kidnapping by seduction that results in torture for the amusement of the wealthy elite, but with watered down suspense/gore compared to the other two Hostel films.

Four bros enjoy a bachelor party in Vegas that turns from a titty-fest to a torture-fest real quick. There are some minimal butt cheeks and side-boobs, but nothing world-changing if you had high expectations for the seduction part of the movie, you goddamn pervert.

The torture scenes start off kind of promising when the Zack Morris looking bro gets his face cut off, but they decline steeply when a woman’s insides are devoured by CGI beetles and and another bro is terminated by a point blank, physics-defying, crossbow shot.

There is only an actual hostel in the film for about the first five minutes; the rest of the film takes place in Vegas on the strip and in a somehow unnoticed and secluded desert torture compound that is – you guessed it – rigged with explosives. The main victim-harvester looks like a flawed Tim Lincecum clone and he uses a flip cell phone from 2001 and rocks the bowl-ett (bowl-cut/mullet hybrid), a haircut that would have gotten him laid in 1988. Everyone else looks like Sears catalog models and their acting is what you would expect.

Recycled/amusing butt cheek shots and making fun of broskis is pretty much what saved this movie from an F.